Final Week Pic for 2011 season, by our “VIFF Matthew Berry”

Enjoy the last installment from our own Matthew Bennett.

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LOVE/HATE for Week 15

So, my official pick record is now 8-2-1 (the tie is from last week when I clearly suggested that Krystal had better matchups, but picked Tiger Blood due to being afraid for my life if I didn’t pick him, so I call it a tie). This week’s theme is Keepers. So if I owned your team and had to pick my keepers today, this is who I would or would not keep and why. Feel free to comment and disagree if you like, but clearly you should follow my advice…

Hyrulian Spider-Dawgs vs. Kaiser Sose
Well, Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers cancel each other out…so it is a battle of RB’s and WR’s. Chris Johnson against the Colts gives Noah the advantage in the RB side of things…I don’t like Mendenhall against the 49’ers and Blount and Jones are a wash. So, can Harvin, Bowe, and Marshall take down Welker and Colston? I just wish I knew who Noah was going to play on Defense…..Winner – Kaiser Sose

Keepers:
Spider Dawgs – Rodgers, Harvin, Blount – Maybe just Rodgers as Harvin has come on late in the season and Blount is as hot and cold as Mendenhall…
Sose – Brees, Welker, Jackson – True he came back stronger, but I think Johnson sucks now, McFadden and Murray are going to share time when everyone is healthy

Mad Hatter vs. Bushwood Smails
I like Sanchez and Manning in their matchups. Foster and the Texans will continue to roll, but I think Mathews with struggle against the Ravens. As for the rest, I think Smails WR corp and their matchups…i.e. Green at the Rams…will be too much for the Hatter. Winner – Smails

Keepers:
Hatter – Forte & Mathews? I dunno, I might drop everyone and start over
Smails – Foster, Manning, Cruz. Sorry Beanie, your knees scare me

And Adonis DNA vs. Bestminster Aces
I love Brady at Denver, but not Rivers against the Ravens. Benson at the Rams should blow up and Wallace and Brown should get a lot of looks at the 49ers except…oh yeah, probably no QB. The matchups for Turner and Ingram are favorable, the only problem is that too late in the season and too banged up. It will be closer than last week, but… Winnner – And Adonis DNA

Keepers:
Adonis DNA – Rivers & Wallace…Rivers gets kept because of his past, even though he struggled this year but Wallace might get a late drop depending on my mood.
Aces – Brady & Turner…Turner is still a solo back and has great averages

Manetheren Goldeneyes vs. YOTW
Ah yes…the rematch nobody but me has been waiting for. ESPN is giving me a 20 point edge? Nope. Even though we both scored more points than anyone else last week (except for Jumping Justin) I don’t think this game is going to be that high scoring. QB’s are pretty evenly matched, MJD will roll against Atlanta, but not like last week and my RB trio will continue to score, but not as high as well. As far as WR/TE, because of who is throwing to Nelson and Gronkowski, my WR corp will not keep up. Winner – YOTW

Keepers:
Goldeneyes – Charles (mancrush), Fitzgerald, Johnson. Just praying Jamaal returns to form and Johnson’s hamstrings were a result of the short offseason. Which, by the way, I am blaming all the injuries on this year. The players were not physically ready to go.
YOTW – MJD, Johnson, Gronkowski. Sorry Reggie Wayne, you and Krystal had a good ride, but the Gronk is the new man in town.

Jumping Justin vs. Noah Kiser Cheats
Well, there is really no matchup that screams huge points to me. Dallas vs. TB might be the most lopsided, so Romo and Austin may benefit. I don’t like anything eagles except McCoy, and Nicks may have another good game as well. (I also would like to say right here that I hate that Eli Manning did so well this year, not the years Matt Fisk and I drafted him…nooo). Winner – NKC

Keepers:
JJ – Jackson & Lynch. Lets face it, the Michael Vick experiment failed.
NKC – McCoy, Romo, & Nicks. If only DeSean Jackson wasn’t a dumb@$$.

Tungsten IV Chloride vs. The Green Wave
I may sound like I am repeating myself, but I still love Cam Newton…and that’s about it for Chloride. Tomlinson snuck a short td in last week but not much more. Ryan to White, Rice, McGahee, and Jermichael Finley will roll the wave. Winner – Green Wave

Keepers:
Chloride – Cam Newton. I hate to see Peyton go out like this, but he had a great run.
Wave – AP, Rice, White. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

LOVE/HATE for Round 2 of VIFF Playoffs

Your next Love/Hate from Goldeneyes Manager: Matt Bennett. Enjoy.

- The Commish

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LOVE/HATE for Week 14

Well, after my strong showing last week (5 for 5 in my picks) and the fun I had thinking up character comparisons, I figured I would give it another go this week. Unfortunately for you, dear readers, I have finals approaching and after translating Proverbs 31 from Hebrew to English, my mind was a bit shot this week. So this blog is not quite the same thematically, but just my picks and some pithy words thrown in for good measure. I hope your team wins (despite my picks)!

Hatter vs. Sose –

Drew Brees + luck…this week the luck comes from Wes Welker. I am pretty sure Chris Johnson and Spiller used up their luck last week…Unfortunately, I don’t like anyone on Buffalo anymore as they are continuing to struggle while San Diego is looking to
make another late season run. So I like Ryan Matthews and I like the Ravens against the Colts…but not enough to tip the scales…
Winner: Kaiser Sose

Spider-Dawgs vs. Smails –

Again, it is hard to bet against Aaron Rodgers, especially when he is at home in the cold against a team from California. Mendenhall against Cleveland seems to be a great match up as well, but I don’t see Harvin having a repeat performance this week. It is a little disturbing to see Bradshaw and Wells as questionable and against the defenses they would have to play, but I will stick with my prediction from last week – Smails just needs to hit his averages…
Winner: Bushwood Smails

Adonis DNA vs. Bestminster

I love Rivers and Jackson against Buffalo, Wallace against Cleveland, and 49ers against Arizona. Brady (although he did far too little against the Colts) and Jennings have great match ups but there is still that lingering question mark surrounding all of Aces RB’s. I suppose I cant pick a tie, so….
Winner: And Adonis DNA

Noah Kiser Cheats vs. Year of the Woman

Romo should play well since it is a big game against the Giants, same with Nicks. McCoy and Jackson have gone opposite directions on the Eagles since Desean basically pulled a Randy Moss and quit playing without telling anyone. Unfortunately for NKC, YOTW’s team, outside her kicker, are all playing weak defenses and have the possibility to put up large numbers. I am not saying it will happen, or that NKC wont put up equally big numbers, but this is a hard call as well. Do I go match ups, or stay true to my fellow snake?
Winner: Noah Kiser Cheats

GoldenEyes vs. Green Wave

So I hate Tebow, Bush, and Fitzgerald because of the defenses they are playing… I will get something, but not much from them. Greene and Helu would surprise me if they repeated last weeks performance, so I guess I just love Floyd. Ryan, Rice, and White will carry the Green Wave this week and I think a touchdown or two for Jermichael Finley may also be in order…
Winner: The Green Wave

Tungsten IV Chloride vs. Jumping Justin

I still love Cam Newton and I want to like the Tomlinson and Holmes, but KC’s defense hasn’t been awful the last few weeks. Steven Jackson against Marshawn Lynch is a fun match up, but unfortunately, football here in St. Louis has been depressing as of late. Williams is finally starting to look consistent, but too little too late for what was a 3rd or 4th round pick?
Winner: Jumping Justin

LOVE/HATE 2011 Playoffs Rd 1

The following article is contributed by “Goldeneyes” Team Owner – M. Bennett. Enjoy.
-Office of the Commissioner

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If you do not already do so, you should all read the Sports Guy and Matthew Berry on ESPN.com. Both guys know way too much about sports, but are also quite humorous and do a good job of spicing up picks and doing a Love/Hate column for fantasy players each week. So, in keeping with their tradition, but creating a new one specific to our playoffs, I give you my picks for the week and other random stuff thrown in. But first, a quote from my theme this week: Arrested Development…

Buster: Mom is becoming a little controlling.
Michael: What tipped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?
Buster: That was half my fault. I thought I saw a Graham Cracker out there.
Michael: You baited the balcony?
Lucille Bluth: Prove it.

Along with my picks, I am tagging every team with a member of the Bluth family that I feel may represent them well. If you have never seen Arrested Development, I am sorry*. If you have seen the show and take offense at my comparisons, I am sorry*. *If you have no sense of humor and take this personally, I would like to think that I am sorry.

Kaiser Sose – Bye
(Obviously George Sr. – He schemes, manipulates, and regardless of where it leaves his family or friends, he is out to win….”there is always money in the banana stand.”)

If Noah doesn’t get the bye, he loses – Jackson is gone and McFadden is still a question mark – even if he returns, methinks Michael Bush will have something to say about it…aka rotating backs. Chris Johnson? Seeing CJ Spiller in a lineup is worrisome for playoff hopes. Noah’s team is Drew Brees + luck. And yes, Noah, if you can’t win this year, you really don’t deserve to.

Bestminster Aces vs. Mad Hatter
(Bestminster – Steve Holt – David shares his unfounded enthusiasm…“Steve Holt!”)
(Hatter – Michael Bluth – Even keeled and always in the mix…”Dad, we have a picture of you with Saddam Hussein.”)

Tom Brady vs. the Colts…oh man, I can’t wait to see how that turns out. All of Aces RB’s are against relatively strong defenses and Gerhart is no Peterson. Forte should run all over KC, but will Morris and Mathews show up? Hatter is deep with WR choices, but who will be hot this week? Ravens D could easily be the top scorer on Hatter’s team but I still give the edge to Hatter. Winner – Mad Hatter

And Adonis DNA vs. Spider Dawgs
(Adonis – Bob Loblaw – Just because your team name is funny, and so is how they use that name in the show…”Bob Loblaw’s law blog”)
(Spider Dawgs – Franklin Bluth – Because lets be honest, that is one of the funniest and most offensive characters on the show, and that is one thing I love about you, you are funny and offensive…”speaking of mothers, let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar”)

Yikes, picking between Palmer and Rivers at QB, which is the lesser of two evils? Rivers and the Chargers are done, and Palmer is starting to get comfy, but he is no Rodgers. RB’s on both teams are iffy and could be what separates and decides this game. DNA has the edge with WR and the 49ers D is playing St. Louis, so that is easy points…I still have to go with Spider-Dawgs…It is hard to bet against Rodgers and I think the rest of the team will squeak out enough points to get him by. Winner – Spider Dawgs

Bushwood Smails – Bye
(Annyong – Always in the background and is forgotten about until the final episodes, kinda like you until the playoffs…”Annyong!)

This is the most balanced team in the league. If this team just hits their averages during the playoffs, Teague wins. Lets hope Beanie’s knee stays healthy.

Bracket 1 – Green Wave vs. Year of the Woman!
(Green Wave – Lucille Austero, aka Lucille 2 – Just because I always see your team name and still think of Ryan Fisk, kinda like Buster with Lucille)
(YOTW – GOB Bluth – Always scheming, always working angles, and always blaming others when it doesn’t work out…”Illusions Michael…”)

Matt Ryan and Roddy White vs. a strong Houston D…not jumpin on that bandwagon. No Adrian Peterson = no win. If YOTW can score a couple more points than last week, she should easily sweep the consolation bracket. But my question is this: Will YOTW’s love affair with MJD, Calvin Johnson, and Reggie Wayne end this year? The 3 constants (not including Polamalu) on this team have never led to a playoff berth or run at the title. Granted, Noah was scared of this team and did not want to see it in the playoffs, but what happened? Oh, Gronkowski and Gore are going to go off this week. Winner – YOTW

Bracket 2 – Jumping Justin vs. Tiger Blood
(JJ – George Michael Bluth – Young, optimistic, and foolishly hopeful…”Talk you off of what, Pop-Pop?”)
(Tiger Blood – Tobias Funke – Because if there is anyone I would like to see in short jean shorts, it is you…”Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul.”)

Jumping Justin is riding a 3 game streak into the playoffs and quite frankly, getting kinda lucky considering his roster. Jackson, Lynch, and Williams make or break this team. Outside of Romo vs. Arizona, I am not really excited about the matchups that Tiger Blood has except for Decker vs. the Vikings. All that being said I am pulling for Tiger Blood only because I want to see a rematch with Tiger Blood and YOTW (Tiger Blood and I are apparently the worst of the snakes that YOTW has to play.) Winner – Tiger Blood

Bracket 3 – Tungsten Chloride vs. Goldeneyes
(Chloride – the Narrator, aka Ron Howard – Because he has an important role in the show, but is behind the scenes…kinda like you were important this year for everyone to get a win, but still showed up)
(Goldeneyes – Buster – Limited by injury and mother issues, but strong enough to survive severe panic attacks…aka a loss to YOTW. “Hey uncle, father Oscar”)

Well, what can I say about us at the bottom of the pile. INJURIES SUCK! If Manning doesn’t go down then Garcon is valuable. Peyton Hillis just fell off of the map (Madden Curse). On the bright side, you got Cam Newton. That’s all I got. If I don’t lose Jamaal Charles, Jahvid Best, Kenny Brit, Darren McFadden, and even Malcom Floyd to injury….not to mention some of the other RB’s that I rotated through and that got injured (i.e. Felix Jones, & Shonn Greene the first game I played him) maybe I have the same record as Noah, or maybe not. Unfortunately, I can not throw this game due to VIFF by-law 132-26 or I will have to sleep with a unicorn pillow-pet…as such, William gets the 1st pick in next year’s draft and I am hoping I get beat next week so that I get the second pick. Winner – Goldeneyes